Tag: body image

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plus size self love Uncategorized weight loss women empowerment

Love your Body

It has occurred to me that I have lost sight of why I started this blog, to try to open the eyes of the world that big women are beautiful! Also, for big women to see their true beauty while I also learn to love my body the way it is.

I still love blogging about being a mom and family life, but I want to focus back on my mission, for people to accept plus size people.

I have a lot to say on this topic so I may be a bit scattered brained, but bare with me.

I can honestly say that I love being a plus size woman. Am I happy with my body 100% of the time…no. I would love to lose about 50 pounds and get in better shape so that I can take better care of my my disabled daughter. Will I ever be skinny?? No. Nor do I care about being skinny. Not that there is anything wrong with being skinny, I was just not meant to be a smaller woman.

I have always been on the chunky side, since I was a child. I was a very active kid , I played sports and took dance. I ate what every other kid was eating, but I gained weight more than the other kids.

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When I was in 5th grade, kids at school really started making fun of my weight. I was then aware that I was different, and of coarse different always has to be bad, right?? So, I started countless diets, battled depression, and even hated going to school.

As a child, I should not have had to deal with body image issues, no child should!

God made us all different, we are not meant to all be the same size and weight.

People are having weight loss surgeries and going on extreme diets, so that they can fit in with society. Now, I know some people have to lose weight because of health problems, do skinny people not have the same health problems??

My mom had gastric bypass years ago because her Doctor said losing the weight would make all her health problems disappear, my words, but same meaning. She lost the weight, but still has heart problems and high blood pressure.

I am done trying to fit in with society, yes I want to be healthy and I CAN be healthy and plus size. I am meant to have curves and junk in my trunk and I am gonna own it!

This message is not just for plus size women. Society puts an unrealistic standard on what a woman should look like. Some of you may have body image issues and not be overweight.

This is for all of you woman reading this. Love your bodies the way they are meant to be, own and flaunt it! Show the World we come in all shapes and sizes and ALL sizes are beautiful!

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self love Uncategorized

New Year, New Me

Every year at the end of the one year and the beginning of a new one, we see everyone making their New Years Resolutions. To lose weight, get their finances in order or to find their soul mate.

I personally hate resolutions, it puts so much pressure on me to strive to succeed in the coming year. So when I do not achieve my goals, I feel like a total loser.

For 2020 I will not be joining a new gym or buying the latest weight loss products, I simply choose a better me for 2020.

Here is my list of my not so resolutions for the new year.

  • I will love myself no matter my size.
  •  I will value my time and have more ME time
  •  I will stop being a people pleaser and put myself first.
  •  I will not change who I am for others to like me.
  •  I will appreciate the friends that I have and spend more time with them.
  •  I will balance being a mother and wife without losing myself in the process.
  •  I will stress less and enjoy life more.
  •  I will learn to love myself unconditionally, mind, body and soul.

This year I hope to find who I really am, not what others want me to be. I will be selfish and think of myself a little more. The most important of them all is I hope by the time 2020 comes to an end, that I can truly say I love everything about myself, and can help others to see their beauty as well.

Happy New years to all you wonderful people!! Thank you for following my Perfectly Imperfect Plus Life and check out my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/Perfectly-Imperfect-Plus-Life-107433010637781/

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MARRIAGE plus size Uncategorized

Insecurities Can Affect your Marriage

Insecurities affect more than just your own life, it affects your marriage as well. When you do not love truly love yourself, how do you expect to accept the love of another person??

I have been with  my husband for almost 19 years now. We met as teenagers and have basically grown up together. He accepted a single teenage mother to be the love of his life, but yet I cannot accept that he truly loves me.

My body insecurities have caused many problems in our marriage. Of coarse not ALL of our problems stem from my insecurities, but I know if I loved myself more I would be a better wife for him.

My insecurities for myself really started after having my son. I gained a lot of weight and I still have not lost the weight from before him. And he is 13! Sometimes I feel like such a failure that I cannot just lose the weight and feel better about myself, and I think my husband must be so disappointed in me. My mind wonders if he wishes he could have the girl he fell in love with back, that young blonde with a decent body.

He reassures me that he still thinks I am pretty and my weight does not bother him, but my mind tells me he cannot be telling the truth. He sees the same me I see in the mirror and that me is disgusting.  So I may roll my eyes or say something sarcastically when he compliments me , because I cannot believe he would see something different than I see in the mirror. That greatly affects our marriage, because he thinks his opinion does not matter and he is being of accused of lying.

My insecurities also affect our intimacy, because I do not want him to see me naked. I make excuses or just go to bed and that really hurts his feelings because he starts to feel he is not good enough. And that truly breaks my heart because it is my fault he feels that way. And we all know the thoughts us ladies have when you know you are giving your husband lovins, our first thought is he will go find it elsewhere. Now I know my husband would not do that to me, but it does not mean my brain does not think about it. My brain tells me “he will find a girl with a better body, and you will be alone forever”.  

I have let my insecurities within myself have control for too long! I will not let them destroy my marriage and my family. I am going to believe my husband when he tells me I am beautiful and I am going to tell myself that every time I look in the mirror. “YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL”. 

I may not lose weight, some things are just out of my control , but I can control ME and I am going to love myself no matter the size I am! I am going to embrace my curves and embrace my husband!

If you are letting your insecurities control you marriage, it is not too late to regain control. Start by telling yourself “YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL”, and then truly believe it because YOU ARE!

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Categories
self love Uncategorized women empowerment

Just Be YOU

It has recently occurred to me that I worry about what others think of me WAY TOO MUCH! A part of loving yourself is letting go of what you think other people want you to be and just BE YOU!

Social media has many good aspect, finding long lost friends and getting to share your life with others. Social media also lets you into other people’s lives, 24/7. You get to see others lives that may be a bit more spontaneous or fabulous than your own. You question yourself and think…. should I be like them??

For instance, I have seen post about restaurants that I have never even heard of. My family and I usually go to the same ole same restaurants, so I think we are so boring. We then try these restaurants and find that we DO NOT fit in or the food is just not what we are in to. Again I think there must be something wrong with us because everybody else loved these places.

It is that way of thinking that makes us feel we are never good enough and little by little we start to hate ourselves and our lives. But we are not all supposed to be the same. God made us all different for a reason. If he expected us all to be the same we would all just be carbon copies, but he made each and everyone of us different. With different opinions, different personalities and different tastes.

Of coarse it is not just social media that makes us feel we should not be ourselves. Certain people will make you feel that you are just not good enough.

I am having to realize that some people will just not like me, for me. I would like to think I am a nice person, that genially cares for others. I may come across as fake or two faced but I really do not try to be. That is just me.  Now I may act different with people that I am really close with but that is because my anxiety does not affect the way I act with those people. My anxiety makes me question every word I speak with people that I am not that close with and I may seem stand offish at times, just because I am afraid I will say the wrong thing. I hate to offend others and will go out of my way not to hurt other people’s feelings. Now that does not mean I don’t get mad at people.  I am guilty of having a temper. I am not good at hiding my emotions, so if you make me mad, you will most likely know that I am upset. I especially don’t hide my feelings when it comes to my kids.

With that said, I have gone out of my way to please others and act a certain way to make them like me.  I am finally realizing that no matter how I change myself they will never like me.  I just need to be myself and the right people will be in my life for who I am.

I am on this journey of self love for myself, not for others to like me. I really encourage you to stop being what you think other people want you to be and just be you! You are enough just the way you are and so am I!

Categories
Uncategorized

Body Insecurities

Body insecurities can affect more than just plus size woman. I think a lot of woman have issues loving their body. Whether it be you think you thighs are too big or your butt is too small. There is always something we wish we could change about our body’s.

I have been overweight most of my life and I cannot remember a single time I have truly loved my body. My stomach is too big, my arms are flabby and the back fat just disgusts me. I think after 35 years, that needs to change.

I have let my body insecurities control my life. Going shopping for cute plus size clothes is a nightmare! Finding plus size clothes that doesn’t look like I am a ninety year old woman is so frustratingly hard. Once I find something that looks age appropriate, problems arise. For one, when I finally find a 3x and try it on, it fits more like a 1x. Plus size clothes are rarely sized correctly, which irritates the heck out of me. Second, if by chance I find a 3x that fits like a 3x those unflattering mirrors make me look like a frumpy hag. So I usually leave the store without purchasing anything.

Sweating is another insecurity that affects my life drastically. I don’t know if it is because I am overweight or if I am just a sweater (my doctor would tell me its the weight for sure), but I do sweat more than a normal person. It is very embarrassing. Talking to other people while I wipe the sweat from my upper lip bothers me severely. I worry about what they think of me, do they think I am disgusting? Do they see that sweat butt imprint I just left on that seat I was sitting in? It is something that definitely makes me want to stay in the comfort of my home.

I am tired of letting my insecurities control my life. I do not want to be limited to what I can do and achieve in this life and I will definitely not let it take away from making precious memories with my children.

So what I am doing about it? I have not been to an amusement park in years! I let my insecurities about my body tell me that I cannot do it, but I CAN! This October I am taking my daughter to Disney World for her birthday and graduation gift to her. I have promised her this trip for so many years and I cannot tell her no anymore. She worked so hard for her accomplishment in graduating , so I am going to work hard for her. I am not going to worry that my face may be drenched in sweat. I am not going to worry if I fit on the rides. I am not going to worry about anything, except having the best time ever with my family.

Don’t let insecurities control your life! Life goes by so fast and you need to enjoy every minute of it.