Here lately it has occurred to me that most people in my life do not know the real me.
I am not fake or two faced, but I do hide parts of me that I feel people would not like.
After the current year we all faced and the uncertainty of how long we all will be on this Earth, I have decided I want people to know ME.
I have decided that being the real me and having people that accept the real me is more important than trying to be someone I am not so that people like me.
I have decided to lay it all out there and share 10 truths about me.
I smoke cigarettes
Yes, I have a disgusting habit that I cannot seem to kick. I hide it from most people because I don’t want people knowing that I am so weak to have an addiction to nicotine. I don’t plan on smoking for the rest of my life and I actually hate that I am a smoker, but that doesn’t make me a bad person.
I Cuss
Yes, I am guilty of using “bad” words to express myself. I don’t like to make a habit of cussing but I can’t say that they never escape my mouth.
I Envy Others
Nobody ever wants to admit that they are envious of other people, but I am guilty of feeling envy towards other people. I want what others have all the time.
I am the obnoxious drunk
I may not drink often, but when I do I become loud and annoying. People tend to avoid me after a few drinks. I also have been known for trying to start fights after a few beers, that is why I avoid beer and stick with wine.
I have depression and anxiety
This one is not really a secret, I talk about my anxiety and depression frequently. People may not know that some days I find it hard to get out of bed and find myself crying for no apparent reason.
I feel like a failure most of the time
This probably goes with the anxiety and depression but I struggle with feeling like a failure in my life. I feel I let my family down and that at my age I should be more successful.
I want to be a successful writer
Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved writing. I use to write short stories in my free time. My dream is to be a successful writer and at least have one published book.
I have a big heart
I may not show my feelings very well, but I care so much for people. My heart breaks when I see people suffering or sad.
I am very emotional
I try not to let people know this, but I am a very sensitive person. I get my feelings hurt very easy. I have a hard time with expressing my feelings to others, so most of the time I don’t defend myself (unless I am drinking).
I am not a fancy person
So I love dressing up and pretending to be fancy, but deep down I am just a down home country girl. I grew up in the country with not a lot of money and now I raise my family in the country with still not a lot of money. Fancy places make me uncomfortable and I am more at home at a whole in the wall country cafe. I am married to the biggest redneck in Lorena and wouldn’t have it any other way.
I hope you enjoyed learning the 10 truths about me.
Always remember to be yourself and don’t try to be what you think others want you to be.
I have tried for years to be someone I am not and hide what I didn’t want others to know, but you will find life if so more enjoyable when you accept who you really are and embrace it.