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MARRIAGE plus size Uncategorized

Insecurities Can Affect your Marriage

Insecurities affect more than just your own life, it affects your marriage as well. When you do not love truly love yourself, how do you expect to accept the love of another person??

I have been with  my husband for almost 19 years now. We met as teenagers and have basically grown up together. He accepted a single teenage mother to be the love of his life, but yet I cannot accept that he truly loves me.

My body insecurities have caused many problems in our marriage. Of coarse not ALL of our problems stem from my insecurities, but I know if I loved myself more I would be a better wife for him.

My insecurities for myself really started after having my son. I gained a lot of weight and I still have not lost the weight from before him. And he is 13! Sometimes I feel like such a failure that I cannot just lose the weight and feel better about myself, and I think my husband must be so disappointed in me. My mind wonders if he wishes he could have the girl he fell in love with back, that young blonde with a decent body.

He reassures me that he still thinks I am pretty and my weight does not bother him, but my mind tells me he cannot be telling the truth. He sees the same me I see in the mirror and that me is disgusting.  So I may roll my eyes or say something sarcastically when he compliments me , because I cannot believe he would see something different than I see in the mirror. That greatly affects our marriage, because he thinks his opinion does not matter and he is being of accused of lying.

My insecurities also affect our intimacy, because I do not want him to see me naked. I make excuses or just go to bed and that really hurts his feelings because he starts to feel he is not good enough. And that truly breaks my heart because it is my fault he feels that way. And we all know the thoughts us ladies have when you know you are giving your husband lovins, our first thought is he will go find it elsewhere. Now I know my husband would not do that to me, but it does not mean my brain does not think about it. My brain tells me “he will find a girl with a better body, and you will be alone forever”.  

I have let my insecurities within myself have control for too long! I will not let them destroy my marriage and my family. I am going to believe my husband when he tells me I am beautiful and I am going to tell myself that every time I look in the mirror. “YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL”. 

I may not lose weight, some things are just out of my control , but I can control ME and I am going to love myself no matter the size I am! I am going to embrace my curves and embrace my husband!

If you are letting your insecurities control you marriage, it is not too late to regain control. Start by telling yourself “YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL”, and then truly believe it because YOU ARE!

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Categories
self love Uncategorized women empowerment

Just Be YOU

It has recently occurred to me that I worry about what others think of me WAY TOO MUCH! A part of loving yourself is letting go of what you think other people want you to be and just BE YOU!

Social media has many good aspect, finding long lost friends and getting to share your life with others. Social media also lets you into other people’s lives, 24/7. You get to see others lives that may be a bit more spontaneous or fabulous than your own. You question yourself and think…. should I be like them??

For instance, I have seen post about restaurants that I have never even heard of. My family and I usually go to the same ole same restaurants, so I think we are so boring. We then try these restaurants and find that we DO NOT fit in or the food is just not what we are in to. Again I think there must be something wrong with us because everybody else loved these places.

It is that way of thinking that makes us feel we are never good enough and little by little we start to hate ourselves and our lives. But we are not all supposed to be the same. God made us all different for a reason. If he expected us all to be the same we would all just be carbon copies, but he made each and everyone of us different. With different opinions, different personalities and different tastes.

Of coarse it is not just social media that makes us feel we should not be ourselves. Certain people will make you feel that you are just not good enough.

I am having to realize that some people will just not like me, for me. I would like to think I am a nice person, that genially cares for others. I may come across as fake or two faced but I really do not try to be. That is just me.  Now I may act different with people that I am really close with but that is because my anxiety does not affect the way I act with those people. My anxiety makes me question every word I speak with people that I am not that close with and I may seem stand offish at times, just because I am afraid I will say the wrong thing. I hate to offend others and will go out of my way not to hurt other people’s feelings. Now that does not mean I don’t get mad at people.  I am guilty of having a temper. I am not good at hiding my emotions, so if you make me mad, you will most likely know that I am upset. I especially don’t hide my feelings when it comes to my kids.

With that said, I have gone out of my way to please others and act a certain way to make them like me.  I am finally realizing that no matter how I change myself they will never like me.  I just need to be myself and the right people will be in my life for who I am.

I am on this journey of self love for myself, not for others to like me. I really encourage you to stop being what you think other people want you to be and just be you! You are enough just the way you are and so am I!

Categories
fashion plus size Uncategorized

Fall Plus Size Fashion

Fall is finally upon us, well not here in Texas, it is still hotter than hades. But I know it is coming!

I love everything about Fall. The leaves changing colors, the cooler crisp air, and pumpkin spice everything!

When it comes to Fall I think my favorite part is the Fall Fashion. Getting to wear all those great Autumn colors…burgundy, mustard, green and all those browns. Getting to pull out those sweaters from the back of the closet for those cool Fall nights.

So lets talk about some Fall fashion! I have found some really great online boutiques that have great plus size clothes. The boutique I will be featuring in this post is Glitzy Girlz Boutique. They have tons of really cute plus size fall clothing. I have chosen a few of my favorite fall pieces to feature.  

Curvy what you seek Mustard Plus Size Top

https://www.glitzygirlzboutique.com/
$39.95

 

This cozy knit top is just adorable! You could pair it with jeans and leggings and look amazing sitting by a Fall bonfire

Thankful and Grateful Tee

https://www.glitzygirlzboutique.com/
$29.95

This super soft mossy green tee is the perfect Fall shirt. Pair it with some jeans and an utility vest and you are ready for the pumpkin patch.

Curvy Desired Utility Vest

https://www.glitzygirlzboutique.com/
$28.95

I love everything about this outfit! Of coarse you can get all pieces on Glitzy Girlz Boutique website, but I wanted to show this vest that would go perfect with the tee mentioned above.

Pumpkin Spice Coffee Cup Graphic Tee

https://www.glitzygirlzboutique.com/
$23.95

I am just in love with this rust colored, super soft graphic tee. I can honestly see myself wearing this with some jeans and a cardigan, as I sip on my pumpkin spice coffee.

Hayrides Graphic Tee

https://www.glitzygirlzboutique.com/
$23.95

So here is another graphic tee that I adore! I just had to show an option with some flannel, I love flannel. This rust colored graphic tee would go perfect with some flannel, jeans and some brown boots.

Curvy Steady as she goes Mustard Cardigan

Curvy Kael Dark Wash Plus Size Denim Jeans

Wayland Bronze Bootie

https://www.glitzygirlzboutique.com/
Cardigan $38.95 Dark wash jeans $49.95 Bronze Booties $59.95

Ok so I love every part of this outfit from the Soft flowing kimono with rich harvest shades to the dark denim jeans. You could pair the Cardigan with any fall color tank and be ready to hit the town.

Curvy Kaede Light Wash Plus Size Denim Jeans

https://www.glitzygirlzboutique.com/
$21.95

I need these jeans in my life! I could totally see myself rocking these jeans with a graphic tee or a tunic with a kimono. There are so many options with these super cute denim jeans. 

I hope you enjoyed my favorite Fall Fashions from Glitzy Girlz Boutique! I cannot wait to do some Fall shopping.

Head over to https://www.glitzygirlzboutique.com/

Check out their amazing Plus Size Fashions and don’t forget to sign up for e-mails. They give great promo codes in their e-mails.

Happy Fall!

Categories
Uncategorized

Promote Self Love

Why is making adult friends so hard? Seriously, it is worse than high school! At least in high school I had a group of friends I could really depend on, but as an adult I find it really hard to find true friends. True friends that don’t tear me down but build me up.

Why do we have to bring each other down and judge each other? We have enough to worry about as women, why do we have to make life harder on other women?

I know I have been judged by other women. Maybe because of my weight or maybe because I don’t have enough money. Maybe they think I am lazy and just sit and eat all day because I am a stay at home mom. They would be wrong! I take care of a special needs adult (my daughter), a thirteen year old boy, and a husband. I keep a clean house, keep up with doctor appointments, grocery shopping, therapy and I lead a special needs girl scout troop. Some may never know that because they judged me before they knew me and instantly made me question if i was worth it. When people won’t even take the time to get to know you, it hurts your self esteem.

It hurts worse when people that do know you, judge you or bring your self esteem down. I know as women we may want what others have or we don’t feel good enough so we make other women feel bad about themselves. That has to stop! I truly believe we should be lifting each other up and promoting other woman to love themselves. In the end I think we will find more love for ourselves.

Years ago I lost my very best friend to a drug overdose. She had insecurities within herself which led her to drugs. I constantly think about her and what if I had tried to build her self esteem up instead of judging her. I loved her very much but sometimes I did feel she was prettier than me, and my insecurities kept me from telling her how truly beautiful I thought she was. I will never know if I could have helped her and I do not want anymore what ifs in my life. I choose to stop judging other woman and build other woman up!

I encourage you to think about other women that have come into your life, and you rejected them because you did not think they were good enough. Put the judgement aside and truly get to know them for who they are. Stop being one of the reasons women hate their self and be the reason they love their self.

Promote self love not hate!

Categories
Uncategorized

Body Insecurities

Body insecurities can affect more than just plus size woman. I think a lot of woman have issues loving their body. Whether it be you think you thighs are too big or your butt is too small. There is always something we wish we could change about our body’s.

I have been overweight most of my life and I cannot remember a single time I have truly loved my body. My stomach is too big, my arms are flabby and the back fat just disgusts me. I think after 35 years, that needs to change.

I have let my body insecurities control my life. Going shopping for cute plus size clothes is a nightmare! Finding plus size clothes that doesn’t look like I am a ninety year old woman is so frustratingly hard. Once I find something that looks age appropriate, problems arise. For one, when I finally find a 3x and try it on, it fits more like a 1x. Plus size clothes are rarely sized correctly, which irritates the heck out of me. Second, if by chance I find a 3x that fits like a 3x those unflattering mirrors make me look like a frumpy hag. So I usually leave the store without purchasing anything.

Sweating is another insecurity that affects my life drastically. I don’t know if it is because I am overweight or if I am just a sweater (my doctor would tell me its the weight for sure), but I do sweat more than a normal person. It is very embarrassing. Talking to other people while I wipe the sweat from my upper lip bothers me severely. I worry about what they think of me, do they think I am disgusting? Do they see that sweat butt imprint I just left on that seat I was sitting in? It is something that definitely makes me want to stay in the comfort of my home.

I am tired of letting my insecurities control my life. I do not want to be limited to what I can do and achieve in this life and I will definitely not let it take away from making precious memories with my children.

So what I am doing about it? I have not been to an amusement park in years! I let my insecurities about my body tell me that I cannot do it, but I CAN! This October I am taking my daughter to Disney World for her birthday and graduation gift to her. I have promised her this trip for so many years and I cannot tell her no anymore. She worked so hard for her accomplishment in graduating , so I am going to work hard for her. I am not going to worry that my face may be drenched in sweat. I am not going to worry if I fit on the rides. I am not going to worry about anything, except having the best time ever with my family.

Don’t let insecurities control your life! Life goes by so fast and you need to enjoy every minute of it.

Categories
Uncategorized

Welcome to Perfectly Imperfect Plus Life

Welcome to my Blog Perfectly Imperfect Plus Life!

Perfectly Imperfect Plus Life is a blog I created to promote Self Love and No Body Shaming.

Over the years, I have discovered so many other topics that I enjoy writing about. While this blog does still focus on body positivity, I also like to share on many other topics. Such as, Family, Holidays, Fashions, Crafts and DIYs, and so much more.

My only mission with my blog is to INSPIRE.

My blog is not about money, I may share affiliate links of products I trust or good deals, but you will never see tons of promotions on my blog.

Check out the About me tab if you would like to learn more about me!

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Uncategorized

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Uncategorized

About me

I am a Texas native and a mother of two wonderful kiddos. I am married to the man I fell in love with a age 16 and we now have been together over 20 years.

My family

My children are my world! I became pregnant with my daughter at 15, so I have been a mother for all of my adult life. My daughter Ciara, has Cerebral Palsy, which effects her ability to walk and speak. She can light up a room with her smile and she never complains about her hardships. My son, Leland, is a normal teenager with an attitude. He is definitely a “mama’s boy”, and constantly makes me laugh.

My Perfectly Imperfect Plus Life is about showing life is not perfect and nobody is perfect, but we can love ourselves and our lives no matter how imperfect.

Of coarse my blog will not be serious all the time, my imperfect life can be crazy, and I hope to share some of that craziness with ya’ll.

If you are into plus size fashion, plus size beauty trends, crafty mom ideas, special need moms, or dealing with anxiety. Then you should definitely follow my blog. It may seem a little crazy, but hey that is how my brain works. I am all over the place!

I hope you all enjoy my posts and can join me in being perfectly imperfect and loving it!