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Putting My Dreams on Hold

When I was young, I always dreamed of being a writer.

I would write short stories. Mostly horror since Stephen King and R.L Stine were my favorite Authors.

At Fifteen, my dreams took a shift. I was blessed with an amazing little angel, but because of a medical mistake, my daughter suffered from seizures. Which led my daughter to being diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy.

I soon realized that my life was going to be consumed with a lot of therapy and doctor appointments.

My mom insisted I go back to school and graduate high school. My sweet mom took care of Ciara while I attended high school, graduated, and while I attended college.

I was unable to finish College due to Ciara’s needs getting more demanding.

After years of therapy appointments, doctor appointments, SSI meetings, fighting medicaid and her daily care, I felt depressed.

I did what I had to do but never went above and beyond for Ciara.

Ciara grew closer and closer to my mom because my mom gave her the attention she craved.

I was hurt that Ciara loved her more and couldn’t figure out why she didn’t love me as much as my mom.

After many prayers, God opened my eyes!

I realized, Ciara didn’t ask to be born to a single, Fifteen year old mom, and she sure didn’t ask for a medical mistake to take place that led her to having to struggle for the rest of her life.

I sat back and saw how strong my daughter is. I saw the impact she has on others in her life. I saw that my girl has a purpose in life, greater than I can ever imagine, and I was very blessed to be a part of her journey.

Ciara has the kindest heart, and the best outlook on life. She warms people’s hearts with her amazing smile. I am very lucky to have her call me mom.

Now, I live for her, to help make all her dreams come true, and to make sure she always has a reason to smile.

Of course, I still live my own life. I go out with friends, not as much as I would like, but life gets in the way of that.

I also make sure my son always knows that I love him. I try to spend extra time with my son and husband, so they don’t feel like my whole life is about Ciara.

Ciara is my best friend, and I can’t imagine my life without her. I am so proud of the young lady she has become. Ciara and I are a team so, when she succeeds, so do I!

Of course, I haven’t given up my dreams of writing. I have my blog, and I hope to one day, write a book about Ciara. My dreams are just on hold, just until God let’s me know it’s time.

Of course, I’m not saying you have to give up your dreams, if you have a special needs child. I know a lot of very strong moms that do it all. Putting my dreams on hold, was just what I felt was best for my child.

Don’t give up on your dreams, just put them on hold!

By Jennifer Cotton

Hi YA'LL!
Welcome to Perfectly Imperfect Plus Life! I started this page so that I could share my journey to loving myself.
I am a plus size mom of two wonderful kiddos. Ciara is 19 and Leland is 13. They are my world! I am also married to the man I began dating when I was 16! It has been a long and bumpy road but I think we are getting a hang of this married stuff.
I have been overweight for most of my life and I don't think I have ever truly loved my body the way it is. So I am starting this journey to self love and I hope that I can have others to join me a long the way!

2 replies on “Putting My Dreams on Hold”

I hope you get to write your book. I enjoyed this so much. I’ll buy the first one. I’m amazed at all you take care of and accomplish. You are the Queen of multi tasking 💜💜🎄🎄🎅🎅🤶🤶🎄🎄💜💜🙏🏻🙏🏻

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