Here lately it has occurred to me that most people in my life do not know the real me.
I am not fake or two faced, but I do hide parts of me that I feel people would not like.
After the current year we all faced and the uncertainty of how long we all will be on this Earth, I have decided I want people to know ME.
I have decided that being the real me and having people that accept the real me is more important than trying to be someone I am not so that people like me.
I have decided to lay it all out there and share 10 truths about me.
I smoke cigarettes
Yes, I have a disgusting habit that I cannot seem to kick. I hide it from most people because I don’t want people knowing that I am so weak to have an addiction to nicotine. I don’t plan on smoking for the rest of my life and I actually hate that I am a smoker, but that doesn’t make me a bad person.
I Cuss
Yes, I am guilty of using “bad” words to express myself. I don’t like to make a habit of cussing but I can’t say that they never escape my mouth.
I Envy Others
Nobody ever wants to admit that they are envious of other people, but I am guilty of feeling envy towards other people. I want what others have all the time.
I am the obnoxious drunk
I may not drink often, but when I do I become loud and annoying. People tend to avoid me after a few drinks. I also have been known for trying to start fights after a few beers, that is why I avoid beer and stick with wine.
I have depression and anxiety
This one is not really a secret, I talk about my anxiety and depression frequently. People may not know that some days I find it hard to get out of bed and find myself crying for no apparent reason.
I feel like a failure most of the time
This probably goes with the anxiety and depression but I struggle with feeling like a failure in my life. I feel I let my family down and that at my age I should be more successful.
I want to be a successful writer
Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved writing. I use to write short stories in my free time. My dream is to be a successful writer and at least have one published book.
I have a big heart
I may not show my feelings very well, but I care so much for people. My heart breaks when I see people suffering or sad.
I am very emotional
I try not to let people know this, but I am a very sensitive person. I get my feelings hurt very easy. I have a hard time with expressing my feelings to others, so most of the time I don’t defend myself (unless I am drinking).
I am not a fancy person
So I love dressing up and pretending to be fancy, but deep down I am just a down home country girl. I grew up in the country with not a lot of money and now I raise my family in the country with still not a lot of money. Fancy places make me uncomfortable and I am more at home at a whole in the wall country cafe. I am married to the biggest redneck in Lorena and wouldn’t have it any other way.
I hope you enjoyed learning the 10 truths about me.
Always remember to be yourself and don’t try to be what you think others want you to be.
I have tried for years to be someone I am not and hide what I didn’t want others to know, but you will find life if so more enjoyable when you accept who you really are and embrace it.
Embracing who and what you are can be a tough road! Keep at it ❤
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