Today my husband and I celebrate twenty years together!
On December 16, 2000, a young single mother decided to take a chance with a brave young man.
It has been a very bumpy road and has not been easy.
We have endured many break ups and had to find our way back to each other.
It didn’t help that we were hardheaded teenagers and were both use to getting our way.
Also, my husband had to adapt to being with a single mom and having a child in the mix. He had to step up as a step dad at 17 years old.
After twenty years I finally feel as if we have found balance in our relationship.
It’s still hard and we are not perfect, but we’re learning from our mistakes.
Marriage is hard and it’s a struggle everyday, but I have some tips I would like to share that has helped us over the last 20 years.
Put Your Pride Aside
That dang pride can ruin a relationship. Sometimes you just have to put that pride aside and know when your wrong.
Why is it so hard to say “I’m sorry“? I guess it goes with putting that pride aside, but learning to say “I’m sorry”, helps your partner know you care about resolving the issues.
Listen To Each Other
One of the biggest problems for us was we never listened to each other’s concerns. We would jump to conclusions or blow up instead of just listening to each other’s issues.
Communication is key in a relationship. It goes with listening to each other. I am all about voicing my opinions and problems, while my husband bottles it up. We all know the problem with bottling up your problems, you eventually blow up! So he still doesn’t tell me All his feelings like I do, but he communicates more instead of holding it all in.
It’s Okay To Be Different
One of our biggest struggles as a couple was we would fight over our differences. When we first started dating, we had the same interests. As we grew up, our interests changed. We have learned to accept our differences. He accepts that I don’t like fishing and I accept he doesn’t love watching horror movies all the time like I do.
It’s Okay To Do Things Apart
This kind of goes with having differences. We always thought we had to do everything together. So one of us would be miserable and it would lead to fighting. We now know it’s okay to have different interests and we don’t have to always be together. He can go fishing and hunting while I go shopping or get my hair done.
Make Time For Each Other
So this one is hard for us and we are still working on this. We have let our kids take over our lives. Finding alone time is hard! It’s so important to find time for each other. This weekend my husband and I are going to enjoy a weekend together, without kids, for the first time in years!
Support Each Other
A hard part in any relationship is supporting each other’s decisions. We always try to support each other. He supports my blogging and any other projects I have going and I support him. Of coarse we always communicate our choices but we come together and support each other in the end.
One of my biggest regrets is that we ruined moments that should have been fun and memorable by stressing and fighting. Life gets pretty stressful with a special needs child, but we have adapted to our life. We find ways to get through the stress and just have fun.
Last but not least, learn to forgive each other. Every relationship is going to have problems. We have both said and done things we now regret but we have learned to forgive each other for all the bad moments in our relationship. Holding on to anger will only lead to resentment. Learn to forgive, so your relationship can grow stronger.
Thank you for letting me share my relationship tips with you!
I am sure our relationship will have more struggles and hardships, but I look forward to another twenty years with my best friend!
My husband and I are celebrating 10 years together in February! And all of your advice is SO TRUE. You can’t make it work if you don’t actually TRY and I think that’s where a lot of people miss the mark
Congrats to 10 years, it is definitely hard work! But it’s worth it!
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