The Truth from a Special Needs Mom

As I sit here watching my daughter rest after an exhausting night of vomiting, I can’t help the feeling of sorrow and pity for my child.

After almost 21 years of having nights like this, it doesn’t seem to get any easier watching your child suffer.

At the age of 20 she should be able to run to the toilet when she feels sick, instead she has to struggle to sit up as she vomits all in her bed.

I run to her rescue but can never get there in time to save her from the disgust of lying in her own waste.

She looks at me helplessly and ashamed of the mess and I reassured her that it is ok .

I clean her up, change the bedding and get her back into bed.

An hour passes and I hear the dreaded sound of her gagging, I run to her as fast as I can but I never get there fast enough.

I clean her up again, change the bedding and get her back in bed.

This goes on until morning, as the sun is rising, my eyes are falling but I know I must stay alert to hear the sounds of what sounds as if she is choking on her own vomit.

Now, as she rests so peaceful, I can’t help feeling sorry for the life she has been given. I know she has a purpose in this life and God has a greater plan for her, but why must she struggle so.

I can’t help but feel sorry for myself, that for the rest of my life I will have nights like this and my child will never be able to care for herself.

Then I remember how blessed I am to be her mother and how thankful I am to God that he gave me this wonderful human being, so strong and resilient.

I remember that this too shall pass and I will see what God has in store for this precious child of mine and I get to be a part of raising such an amazing person.

Bad nights are going to happen and sickness will be apart of our lives, but I will remain thankful for this blessing God has bestowed upon me and take care of her until I no longer can.

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