Insecurities affect more than just your own life, it affects your marriage as well. When you do not love truly love yourself, how do you expect to accept the love of another person??
I have been with my husband for almost 19 years now. We met as teenagers and have basically grown up together. He accepted a single teenage mother to be the love of his life, but yet I cannot accept that he truly loves me.
My body insecurities have caused many problems in our marriage. Of coarse not ALL of our problems stem from my insecurities, but I know if I loved myself more I would be a better wife for him.
My insecurities for myself really started after having my son. I gained a lot of weight and I still have not lost the weight from before him. And he is 13! Sometimes I feel like such a failure that I cannot just lose the weight and feel better about myself, and I think my husband must be so disappointed in me. My mind wonders if he wishes he could have the girl he fell in love with back, that young blonde with a decent body.
He reassures me that he still thinks I am pretty and my weight does not bother him, but my mind tells me he cannot be telling the truth. He sees the same me I see in the mirror and that me is disgusting. So I may roll my eyes or say something sarcastically when he compliments me , because I cannot believe he would see something different than I see in the mirror. That greatly affects our marriage, because he thinks his opinion does not matter and he is being of accused of lying.
My insecurities also affect our intimacy, because I do not want him to see me naked. I make excuses or just go to bed and that really hurts his feelings because he starts to feel he is not good enough. And that truly breaks my heart because it is my fault he feels that way. And we all know the thoughts us ladies have when you know you are giving your husband lovins, our first thought is he will go find it elsewhere. Now I know my husband would not do that to me, but it does not mean my brain does not think about it. My brain tells me “he will find a girl with a better body, and you will be alone forever”.
I have let my insecurities within myself have control for too long! I will not let them destroy my marriage and my family. I am going to believe my husband when he tells me I am beautiful and I am going to tell myself that every time I look in the mirror. “YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL”.
I may not lose weight, some things are just out of my control , but I can control ME and I am going to love myself no matter the size I am! I am going to embrace my curves and embrace my husband!
If you are letting your insecurities control you marriage, it is not too late to regain control. Start by telling yourself “YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL”, and then truly believe it because YOU ARE!
I know you may think I just say this to be nice but I really mean it weekend I say that you are so beautiful! It seems so easy and so natural for you. You are beautiful both inside and out.
Thank you so much! I think you are beautiful inside and out as well and a great friend/ cousin!
Struggling with this myself at the moment. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!! Thank you for writing this!!
The struggle is real but thank you so much for the kind words!!
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